Verse of the Day
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Uncanny Resemblance


You know, I always thought future Hall of Fame pitcher Randy Johnson looked like he came out of the Civil War (especially when he wore the mullet).

I discovered I wasn't too far off the mark when we visited Gettysburg. Standing atop Little Round Top is a statue of General Gouveneur K. Warren. If you were to put a baseball in his left hand, he'd be a dead ringer for Randy Johnson, scowl and all.

Serving as Chief Engineer for the Army of the Potomac, General Warren went to Little Round Top to assess the situation when he noticed the Confederate forces maneuvering towards the unoccupied mountain. Warren acted quickly to commandeer a regiment to rush in to defend against the Confederate attack just in the nick of time, thereby protecting the Union left flank and saving the Union forces from a disastrous defeat. Gouveneur Warren is considered by many to be the savior of Gettysburg. He was the ace that day, just as Randy Johnson has been the ace on many a day.

By the way, do you know who else was at the Battle of Gettysburg? Major General Abner Doubleday - mistakenly credited as the inventor of baseball (but he did patent the cable car that still runs in San Francisco!). But I do digress...

I don't believe in reincarnation, but wow - the resemblance between Johnson and Warren is uncanny.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Thursday Report, 3 May 2007

New Appliances Anyone?
Last month I paid off Home Depot for the new dishwasher we got last Christmas. Now our refrigerator is on the blink. Keep in mind that my wife has been wanting a new refrigerator for quite some time. So I went and looked up refrigerator repair on the internet and came back to my wife saying, "So you want a side-by-side this time?" The new fridge arrives Monday.

Just When You Thought Things Were Bad in YOUR House
Our older daughter J and our grandson have moved in with her fiancee and his daughter. You may recall they have a new puppy, Zoe. Well Zoe had a little accident a few weeks ago and apparently (although not apparent the first time it was X-rayed) she broke one of her front legs. She's having surgery today.

On top of that, J went to the emergency room because of abdominal pain. She has gallstones. She will be discussing gall bladder surgery soon.

A Good Supreme Court Decision
On Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those idiots who get involved in police chases can't sue the police for stopping them, provided the police don't use excessive force in stopping the suspect vehicle. Mind you, when a car is speeding along and barely under control, it only takes a tap of its bumper to push it completely out of control. Just ask the plaintiff - he was speeding along at 100 m.p.h. on a suspended license. The police intervened according to the standard procedure for stopping these wingnuts, and now he's a quadraplegic. If you ask me, it's better than having him kill an innocent bystander and ruin other peoples' lives.

Iraqi Government Entity Targets Sunnis
While we're busy "surging" against the insurgency, it was reported that Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki has set up an office within the government consisting of military advisors dealing with the whole mess over there. This agency has been found to have an extreme Shiite agenda which is only contributing to the sectarian violence. Cute.

Oh, What A Tangled Web We Weave
Meanwhile, it appears that some Sunnis have had enough of al-Qaeda, as evidenced by the increasing numbers of Sunni militants who are fighting against al-Qaeda; they've even claimed that they killed the leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq.

Gosh, don't you just love a civil war based on differing religious, political, and economic agendas?

Phoenix Suns Advance to the Western Conference Semifinals
Last year they made it look hard. This year, they made it look easy (except for the one game they lost). Just like last year, the Suns faced the Lakers in the opening series of the NBA playoffs. But this year, there's something different about this team, and I like their chances. The Suns were able to dispatch the Lakers in five games. Now they face the San Antonio Spurs on Sunday. Should be interesting. And a lot of fun to watch.

How 'bout Those Diamondbacks?
Since last week the Arizona Diamondbacks are 5-2. I'm not sure how, sometimes, but I'll take it. Looks like their biggest nemesis this year will be the Dodgers.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Maxine's Solutions


From an e-mail I received recently:

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida. Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:

1. Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border

2. Use the dirt to raise the levees in New Orleans

3. Put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Saddam's Cat: A Little Sick Humor

Sorry, I couldn't resist sharing this from an email I got.